so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize