At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
