my phone needs a breathalizer
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize