I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
