Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize