The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
