i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
only you would photoshop your dick
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
