Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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