just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
