i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
