I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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