She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
