Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
