if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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