i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
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Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
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You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Your penis caused this!
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