new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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