ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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