who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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