Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He felt like a one man threesome
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
