She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
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Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
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I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize