You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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