Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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