I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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