1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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