Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
