guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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