I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
