so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
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i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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