So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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