yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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