okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
