the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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