i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I wish i was in the wii world.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
