I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
