I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
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I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
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Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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