She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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