Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
