I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
