So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
