ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
