how can u be prego again
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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