Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
