Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
pop tarts are not kleenex
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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