Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
