He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize