So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
