k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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