Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.