tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
