yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
this is an emotional support booty call
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
