After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
