The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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