Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
