We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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