And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
